Tina Turner was a singer, songwriter, actress and author. Dubbed the "Queen of Rock 'n' Roll", she broke both racial and gender barriers in rock music with her vocal prowess and stage presence. She is one of the best-selling music artists of all time, with estimated sales of over 100 million records worldwide
The Misconception of Who Endures Abuse
When October arrives and we mark Domestic Violence Awareness Month, society often pictures a specific type of victim: someone frail, isolated, or lacking resources. We tell ourselves that financial independence, talent, or a fierce personality create an invisible armor against domestic abuse. But the truth is, no matter how high I soared in my corporate career, home was the same. In fact, it only got worse the more that the outside world saw success in me. Much like Tina, who was a dominant force on stage, at home, she was degraded and abused in stark contrast to who she portrayed. What is the lesson here? Powerful women can also be abused.
I was a six-figure earner, with a college degree and military background. I came from a family of people that valued education and direction. Though not perfect by any means, I didn’t struggle with knowing if I was loved. I eventually would grow into a woman that, on the surface, was strong personality, not taking crap from anyone. Other women would look up to me, asking my advise on how to be that way. I had all the good words, because I knew it deep within. However, my desire to be loved, have a partner to lean on and a family of my own gave me a vulnerability.
The spirit of abuse doesn’t ask for your resume, look at your accomplishments and run away out of fear. It finds where you are weak, and attempts to grow roots. I like to think of myself having a similar desire to Tina, to still be loved as a woman, a wife, and a mother despite being a popular and powerful figure in society.
A Global Powerhouse Behind Closed Doors
To the world, Tina was the Queen of Rock ‘n’ Roll—a force of nature who filled stadiums of 90,000 people, commanded global stages alongside legends like Mick Jagger and David Bowie, and exuded undeniable power, charisma, and sensuality.
Yet, behind that electrifying public image lay sixteen years of horror. She was subjected to brutal physical violence—having hot coffee thrown in her face causing third-degree burns, her jaw broken, her nose used as a punching bag, and being struck with a wooden shoe stretcher.
Her story reminds us of a crucial truth: domestic violence is not a sign of weakness in the survivor; it is an assertion of control by the abuser. Even the most powerful woman in the room can be trapped in a violent reality behind closed doors.
When I think of the pressure to appear ok, no matter what, when you know you are crumbling inside, I tear up. Tina had to wear a lot of abuse on her face and body. As a superstar, I can only image the stress of having to put makeup over black-eyes, explain damage to outsiders, and lie to people constantly about how she was really doing. But I don’t have to imagine that much, because I had to do some of that myself. Sure it wasn’t black eyes everyday, but rather the ‘invisible’ black eyes I had to hide. The blood shot eyes from crying when he had again verbally degraded me, disregarded my feelings, or just plain ignored something I needed. The lies had to tell to family or friends when it came to money I wasn’t allowed to spend, despite being the sole breadwinner. And the mountain of excuses I made every time someone pointed out something happening to me. As much as we saw the physical evidence on Tina’s face, the abuse she suffered behind closed doors was beyond measure, like so many other survivors.
The Hidden Chain: Financial Abuse and the Price of Freedom
We often hear people ask, “Why didn’t she just leave sooner if she was rich?” What many don’t realize is that financial abuse accompanies physical violence.
Despite generating millions of dollars and building assets like recording studios, real estate, and hit records, Tina did not control her wealth. Ike Turner maintained strict control over publishing rights and finances.
When Tina finally fled on July 1, 1976, in Dallas, Texas, after a severe altercation, she didn’t leave with bank accounts or security. She ran across a freeway to a hotel with only 36 cents in change and a gas station credit card in her pocket.
When their divorce was finalized in 1978, Tina made a deliberate choice: to secure her freedom and keep her stage name, she surrendered her rights to their shared properties, publishing royalties, and studio assets. On top of that, she voluntarily agreed to take on full financial liability for IRS liens and canceled tour contracts.
For nearly two years after leaving, the global star survived on food stamps, cleaned houses to pay her rent, and performed in small cabaret clubs just to pay off the massive debts from her marriage. Food Stamps….. She had worked almost 2 decades, toured the world and was a multi-million dollar breadwinner, but had no control over any of that. This part hits personal for me, because of all the abuse and neglect I suffered, financial was probably the worst of it all.
The control I gave over to this man, in the name of being a Christian wife, was huge. The dynamic of “You make the money but I manage it..” was eventually our norm. Yes, I physically paid all the bills, held every debt in my name, supplied every financial provision for our family and some of his, but deep down, I knew who was in control.
He checked my credit, regularly…because he had convinced me that my credit was OUR credit. When it was time to buy something big, car, loan, technology, or furniture, it was just expected that I was signing, all by myself. In hind sight, I realize this was to make sure that he had no legal responsibility to any debt, just the benefit of what it provided. The very definition of financial abuse or in this case, golddigging. Much like Tina, I was used for my talent and capabilities, then left with the financial turmoil in the end. Though she only had $.36 in her hand at the end, Tina felt more free than ever, which was priceless.
Reclaiming the Future: Rebuilding from the Ashes
Tina Turner’s story didn’t end at 36 cents or food stamps. She refused to see herself as a victim.
She picked up the pieces, worked tirelessly through her 40s, and launched one of the greatest solo comebacks in music history with her 1984 album Private Dancer. She proved that starting over at rock bottom isn’t the end of your legacy—it is the birthplace of your ultimate power.
Tina reminds us of one staple fact, when you are ready to leave an abuser, be willing to lose everything for your freedom. This hits home hard, especially when it comes to actual material loss such as what Tina endured. One content creator said it best: “When you are leaving a narcissistic or abusive system, be willing to lose everything and bullied on the way out the door. But also be prepared to be the lightest and most free you’ve ever been” I find it to be true that when you see an abusive relationship break up, it is often the survivor that seems to have the most visible glow-up. Because that true feeling of being free can’t hide from the world, it is going to show. Since I left my abuser, I’ve taken several vacations, cruises, and been very active in my day-to-day life. I plan activities for myself and my children, look forward to holiday times, and I’m finally learning how to romanticize my regular life. This didn’t come without a cost, mainly financial, as my abuser still continues to legally stalk my money with court filings. However, I’m learning how to be more detached than I ever was before.
To Anyone Reading This Who Needs to Hear It
If you are reading this today and feeling trapped, ashamed, or confused because you think you are “too strong,” “too smart,” or “too successful” to be in this position—please listen to me:
Abuse thrives on silence and shame. It feeds on making high-achieving people feel like they cannot ask for help without losing their credibility. You must remember that before the big money job, the corporate business, or any other major role you have, you are HUMAN. And we are not built to do life alone.
Leaving with nothing but your life is not a defeat. Tina left a fortune behind, but walking out with 36 cents made her richer than staying in a gilded cage ever could. Remember, freedom is never free in this world. To break away from a person that has gotten comfortable controlling you is going to take energy, effort and perseverance. Do.Not.Look.Back!
Your story is not over.
If my story or Tina’s story resonated with you today, know that you are not alone. Let’s use this Domestic Violence Awareness Month to speak up, support one another, and shatter the myth of what abuse looks like.”
Steffie Jean-Lee is a survivor of domestic abuse and coercive control. She is the founder of SJL C.E.O Society and has a personal mission to share her testimony with others that may be lost in the fog of abusive relationships and employment. All advise given on this platform is meant to encourage survivors to educate and free themselves of their trauma, while encouraging recovery efforts.
If you are experiencing domestic violence or emotional abuse, please remember that seeking safety is not a failure of faith — it is an act of courage and wisdom.
God does not call you to remain in harm. Support and protection are available.
You can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), text START to 88788, or chat at thehotline.org.
If you are in immediate danger, please call 911.