How I Handled Mutual Friendships After Divorce — Without Losing Myself

“I don’t know what to do. I love you both.”

When I decided to end my marriage, I expected heartbreak. I expected the long nights, the tough conversations, the paperwork, and, most obviously, my ex's reaction.
But what I didn’t expect was how complicated things would get with our mutual friends.

No one talks about that part — how divorce doesn’t just separate two people; it ripples outward. It touches everyone who’s been a part of your life — people who have celebrated your ups and downs, your happiness and your tragedies.
For me, that meant a lot of people I loved suddenly felt awkward around me. Some disappeared. Others didn’t know what to say. Some had hurtful opinions. And some? I’ll never know how they feel because we haven’t spoken.

At first, I felt abandoned all over again. I needed my friendship circle more than ever and expected them to just roll with the punches.
But then I started to look at it differently.